A buffalo for X-mas?

These are some buffalos I met as they were trying to cool down in a small river North in Thailand. I stayed on dry ground, sweating.

This year ADRA Norway is offering buffaloes as Christmas gifts. Buy 1/3 of a buffalo, give a card to your loved one, and both of you can enjoy the fact that the buffalo will provide critical help for someone in need.

Juno

He was born four years ago, one day I was waiting for the bus outside a toy store "Riktige leker". I felt a bit sorry for myself that day, so when I saw him, I immediately knew that he was there to comfort me. He got the name Junior, but it was later changed to Juno. He has been to all kind of places; Norway, Sweden, Denmark, UK, US, Iceland, Costa Rica, Thailand, Cambodia, Peru, Kenya, Sudan, Rwanda, Ethiopia... in fact I lost him in Ethiopia, but luckily he was found, and travelled with a friend of mine via Asia (see picture) to the US, where I got him back.

He continues to travel with me, and he doesn't mind. He doesn't even suffer from jet-lag, like I do. I don't talk to him like I did with my invisible friends when I was little, and I don't actually think he is alive, so I am not nuts. It's just nice to have a travel companion like Juno. That's why I blog about him.

Walking my goat

I have owned three goats in my life. One was offered me as a present once I visited a village in Mali. It was brought me in front of the entire village. It was a beautiful goat, it looked nice - but it didn't taste as nice. It was served as dinner for me and the village later in the day.

I also had two goats in Mitandi, Uganda. I gave them away to some families that needed them more than I did.

I know it has nothing to do with the goat per se, but on the way back from the place where I gave away one of my goats, I mentioned to the two people walking along with me that I thought it would start to rain soon. In fact I was sure it would start to rain within less than an hour, despite that it was no indication of rain clouds anywhere. Both my Norwegian friend who live there and a local fellow, believed that I couldn't possibly be right, and it wasn't really the season for it either. Less than an hour later we were all soaking wet.

Places to experience

Yemen! A favourite.

Cambodia! Not only Angkor Wat, but also the rural areas, the floating villages, the cafés in the cities.

Peru! Despite the altitude, Titicaca is worth a visit.

World view and the free thought

Am I living in the same world as you? My world is full of wonderful people, with good intentions. I have met so many of them around the globe; great people of various religions, ethnic groups and languages. Oh, there are so many lovely people out there, in Peru, Mali, Sudan, Yemen, Burma, Cambodia, US, Denmark, Norway and Australia (to mention just a few).

Am I living in the same world as you? I have wonderful high school students, who are sweet, polite and engaged in the subjects I teach. I think the other teachers at the school are great, and I look forward to go to work in the morning.

Am I living in the same world as you? There is a lot of suffering and injustice, which we can address through honest problem solving and genuine compassion, and communication with national leaders, local leaders, the oppressed, the children, the youth etc. By joining hand, we can make a difference. And leteral force is not part of it.

Am I living in the same world as you? I was raised in a church where I was inspired to study, to reflect, to find the answers outside the box. People like Carsten Johsen, Jens K. Jensen and Sigve Tonstad (again to mention just a few) challenged me to fight for other people's rights to religious liberty, liberty of conscience and love for fellow human beings (and animals for that matter). I didn't agree in all that they said, but that was exactly the point: I didn't have to agree to feel valued, in fact diversity was encouraged.

Am I living in the same world as you? People I meet are far from perfect, and neither am I. And still we have to live togheter in this small village called the earth. Last week my students defined three values that they saw as the most important values to live by: Love, Respect and Forgiveness. My students are wise.

Am I living in the same world as you? I hope so, because I would love to meet with you, and sit down with a fresh juice or coffee or water, and chat for a little while.

Les Miserables

Part of who I am (ref. blog from yesterday) is that I have a deep passion for Les Miz. I have experienced the musical three times in London. Up through the years, when the kids couldn't sleep, I would comfort them by singing a Lullaby; There is a castle on a cloud. I also like to play it on my cello.

But back to the Who am I quest. There are particularly three songs in the musical that addresses the deeper questions about being a person with integrity:

"What have I done?"
"Who am I?"
and Javerts song before he committs suicide.

It's about letting love transform life - or not. And it is about doing the right thing for the right reason. If fascinates me, provokes the thought, and inspires me.

Who am I?

Have you ever searched your own name on Google? I did it today. It was interesting. In the second "hit" I found that I am referred to as the former Director of ADRA Norway at ADRA International's website. Which is interesting because I will have the Director position for yet another year.

It is no big deal, and I am sure that they will eventually change it.

The bigger question is: Who am I? Am I the person that is reflected on facebook or LinkedIn - or my own blog? Am I the mother, wife, teacher or director? Or a combination of all of these roles? Do I have a core, or am I what I do? Am I Yellow?

In many ways I am a complete failure. I could make a list from here to the moon and back again of all the mistakes I have done (intentionally and unintentionally). But is that more ME than the (hopefully) nicer parts of my personality and character?

I can't really tell. What I have found is that certain things about one self gets more clarity as years pass by. In a way I become more mature and more childish, when realizing more of who I am. I can relax more, and worry less. However, this is not primarily because of who I am per se, but because of those people around me; those people who love me for who I am, or maybe despite of who I am. And of course, I can rest in peace because God loves me, for who I am, AND despite of who I am.

A beautiful song that further reflects on the big question, is Who am I.

Inclusion

I am sitting here in our empty house, enjoying the solitude. For a few minutes I can just relax and think of my own needs and wants only. Ahhh...

I need it, the time alone, the space and the room for reflection.

What I don't need is to stay here for too long, and get stuck in my own comfort zone.

When we passed that vehicle (see picture) on our way to Jomboc Hoas in Cambodia, we all had a seat each (I can't lie and say we were comfortably seated - even if that would make a better point for this blog).

I don't know anyone - and definitely not me - who enjoy being excluded and left behind. I therefore challenge myself to be flexible (and brave) enough to let people close. There should always be space for another person - nobody needs to stay behind because we can't give up a little of our own space in order to include one more.

Old and new friends

When I was in junior high, and later when I attended high school I got some very good friends. I don't keep in thouch with a single one of them on a regular basis. However, when we meet, there is a bonding that has not changed. In a way we can continue where we last ended out conversation - last year, or some twenty years ago.

I have got many friends since then, but I have developed very few intimate friendships since my early twenties. But those few that I have developed, have become more and more important.

Studies has shown that one out of three people above 66 years old (in Norway) say that they don't have one single close friend. It is sad.

I hope I can always have a few close friends with whom I can continue to share happiness and sorrow... I have realised that I need it.

Newport Beach and memories

It was 4th of July, and my cousin and I decided to visit Newport Beach. We were driving a BMW cabriolet, and we owned the world. Then of course, it is slightly embarrassing to (almost) run out of Gas!

It was a crazy day, as the entire region wanted to spend the day at the beach. So the parking guards took advantage of the situation and charged us USD 50 to park! With the car safe, we rented bicycles and toured the beach. Wonderful!

At night we drove to Redlands, and got the most magnificent firework show one can imagining. What a day!

Since I was so sad yesterday, I have to think of good memories like the 4th of July with my cousin. And it helps. Or at least I can smile through the tears. What an incredibly asset it is to have good memories. It even helps me look forward with hope and optimism. Thanks to my cousin and other friends who have shared some special moments with me, and created good memories!

My baby

Tonight I feel sad. Very sad.
But at least I can be glad that I am not sad very often.

(I include a picture of one of my indian twins. The thought of them also makes me sad, because one of them died and the other one is having some health issues.)

Annoying genes

My daughter, Frida, is now 15 1/2 years old. In the picture she is 14, eating an ice-cream in Sacramento.

When I was her age, I also loved ice-cream. Sometimes I would be so desperate that I would eat ice-cream with my bare fingers, directly from its box in the freezer. If I went downstairs with a spoon, my mom would get too suspicious. For a while I also had a spoon hidden near the freezer. My mom wasn't particularly happy when we had guests and she took the ice-cream out of the freezer and found that it was near empty, and with marks of fingers in it...

Frida has never done the same (yet), but I notice that she becomes more and more like her mom (even in areas that she could not possible copy because I have changed since I was her age). I am not going to expose her here, but I know that she has also noticed that we are becoming more alike. I don't know who of us that is most scared and annoyed by noticing the influence of my genes :)

And even if there are similarities, we are also different in many ways. Frida is growing into a young woman with her own opinions, her own experiences and her own choices. I am very proud of her!

A dream comes true

My life has been rather intense. Sometimes it has been so much excitement that all I could wish for was some peace and quiet. So when the phone rings and a marketing person for a lottery starts by saying: - We all dream about travelling to some exotic place. Don't we, Pia? My response is: - Nope, not me!

After one such phone call, I think it was in 2005, I started to reflect: - Am I without dreams? There must be something I would like to do, some place I would like to go to?

At first I couldn't think of anything, anywhere. But then it struck me: I want to swim with dolphins!

So I nurtured that dream for some years. At one point I almost arranged to go to the Dominican Republic to swim with Dolphins there. I started to dream about it at night. It became a real dream!

But then, one day I realized that my son needed the dream more than I did: So I shared the dream with him and I started nurturing his dream of going somewhere and swim with Dolphins. We almost managed to realize the dream in January 2008, when we went to California for three weeks. In the end it didn't work out.

But I was determined not to give up: So on April 20th the same year, Filip finally got into the water with Dolphins at SeaWorld outside of San Diego. It was a great day. And strangely enough, even if I wasn't even near the water, it felt like a dream came true.

A cursed Angkor Wat?

One of my acquaintances never visits Angkor Wat. He says the place is cursed. Despite this, I have visited the place three or four times, and I haven't notice anything indicating that the place is cursed. But does that prove that the place is not cursed?

Today, Märtha Louise was interviewed in Dagbladet (Norwegian Newspaper). She talked about her book, and how to get in contact with one's angel. I don't know much about her work, but I guess her world view and my world view differs quite a bit. Still, I think she is very right about one point: There is more between heaven and earth than what we can immediately observe and count.

I find it very fascinating to study how the Bible explains the "beyond"; including the fight between good and evil. I am grateful that there is a Power, God, who knows everything and is strong and wise and someone to trust. To me it therefore makes perfectly sense that God sends angels to protect us - and sometimes just friends or another human being.

While recognizing that some things are invisible to me, and still exists, I stay in the visible world, touching visible people, smiling visible smiles (hopefully :)). I want to comfort real hunger and real thirst, break real chains, - and in a way one can say that I have contact with the invisible and intangible by relating to love, connection, justice (and hate, isolation and injustice) etc. But my only real contact with the invisible world is by direct communication with God when praying.

(Today's picture is of me at another of the temples nearby Angkor Wat.)

I need wisdom!

I have always claimed that one can learn so much by teaching, and I have not changed my mind on that point. By listening to the various statements my students are making, I learn new things, I learn to see new perspectives, get new info…

But most importantly I understand more about people. Today, for instance I had a test with some of the students, and one of the answers was indirectly a testimony of a life. I feel honored and humble. And it makes me realize (once more) what an incredibly important job it is to be a teacher.

If I mess things up, some of the students may suffer for life. If I can share love, compassion and generosity, and help them reach their potential, some students may get a life.

Oh, Lord, I definitely need some wisdom…

(This time I include a picture of two of my favorite “students” in Cambodia.)

Remembering names II

I am embarrassed. To put it mildly! Here is the thing:

Two weeks ago all the teachers at our school were informed through the intranet that the school would be receiving some students from Sweden and Finland in the coming week. So we were all warned: in fact we were encouraged to welcome our visitors in a special way, and make them feel at home.

Tuesday, my students returned to class after a week in Rome (most of them had been there on a school trip). In class I noticed that one of the students had got a haircut. But I could not remember her name! I felt so ashamed, since I had made such an effort to actually know all the names. But I just couldn’t find out the name of the girl!

Only half way through the session I realized: The girl was one of the visitors from Finland, and wasn’t one of my regular students!

To further make a fool out of myself, when two other students showed up for my next class it took me almost a minute to figure out that these were Swedish visitors!

So, if anyone was in doubt about my lack of ability to recognize faces and names, this should be another sad proof.

(The picture is from Cambodia - just some beautiful faces of children I can't remember the name of...)

A haircut, please!

I think it started in Calcutta ten years ago. My parents were travelling with me in India, Nepal and Bangladesh, in order to look after the kids when I had to be in meetings or do office work.

My father desperately needed a haircut. So he walked the streets of Calcutta and found a barber shop, and went in there. The haircut costed him 25 cent.

Since then it has been some kind of tradition to get a haircut different places in the world: Bagua Grande (Peru) (picture), Siem Reap (Cambodia)...

In Siem Reap my dad just closed his eyes and hoped for the best, and my mom did definitely not approve of his very short hair when she saw him afterwards. Just then a stranger walked up to her and said: "Your husband is very handsome!" My mom just pretended not to have heard the comment, but the woman just repeated it, this time louder.

Anyway, I think it is kind of cool that he gets all these hair cuts.

An affair of the heart

When I visited the US for the first time, I had already visited around 40 other countiers in the world. I had visited Bangladesh 13 times (but of course only counting Bangladesh once on the list of 40). The US hadn't been on my route before, and I had no real desire to go there either.

December 2003 was the first time I entered Northern American soil, and I have visited several times since then. I must admit, that the country fascinates me; the history, culture and the people.

There are definitely things I find very strange, like the easy access to weapon (my students saw "Bowling for Columbine" today). One of the reasons Norway, despite the cold, scores highest on my list, is that the kids can play outside, walk over to friends alone, doors don't need to be locked and we feel safe. Without weapons!

Another thing I find weird is that they seem to watch all kind of violence in video and movies, but freak out if a small child is naked on the beach! For some strange reason there seems to be a fear of nakedness.

I notice that the above is a kind of stereotyping, but please take it just as an observation, not an "All Americans are..." statement.

But besides the cultural differences (like the ones mentioned above), the country fascinates me. It is a country that reveals more and more of itself every time I visit. And it is a place worth going back to. I believe I have fallen in love with the place...

Bluegrass and BBQ

Have you ever tasted Granny Smith covered in thick, sticky caramel? All of a sudden I get this strong urge for it, and then after two bites I wonder why. Oak Glen in California is one such “apple-in-caramel” place. And if I want to pick my own apples, I can just visit Los Rios Rancho.

The place has ambiance! We have visited on Cowboy Chuckwagon BBQ and Show, we have attended Gospel Worship on Friday night, been for walks on the trails around the farm (there are mountain lions there!), had picnic twice - and not the least on Bluegrass concert.

Bluegrass! I didn’t even know the word before the concert (sorry), but it was all pure joy and nostalgia (even if it didn’t really remind me of childhood). The O’Brien Family Band and some local bands were singing and performing. It was a lovely afternoon at the farm.

Apparently Los Rios Rancho arranges concerts like this from time to time. Being on the other side of the world, I can only envy my friends who live in the area. I hope they take advantage of it!

Cabbages & Condoms

Having worked on HIV/AIDS issues for years, it was a natural choice to stay overnight at the Cabbages & Condoms Resort outside Chiang Rai, Northern Thailand. The place has posters and signs all over about safe sex and protection. For instance do they guarantee that you won't get pregnant from their food :)

The standard is very basic and I have been freezing each of the three times I have visited. But still, the place has its charm.

And though it might be a safe place in some respect, it can still be quite scary for some: A friend of mine was settling into his room when he started looking at the decoration on the wall. It was a huge gecko. Interesting decor. But then it started to move up his wall, and found a place under the roof or somewhere.

He still remembers that moment, and in fact, I think all the people I have brought there go away with some special memory.

Last words on this: ADRA has been running a very successful HIV/AIDS program in the area. We had to scale it down due to funding constraints. But we will bring with us the experiences made, and continue the good work.

Tolerating the intolerant

”I can’t stand those who are intolerant”. (In Norwegian: ”Jeg kan’ke fordra trynet på de som er intolerante.”) Why is it that it feels justified to dislike some people?

I will never approve of intolerance, but am I able to be generous towards people who seem unreasonable and condemning of others? I don’t want to adopt their approach to life – I want to see beyond their insecurity, anger or maybe self-righteousness (often combined with ignorance).

This is just a reflection. I need to think of it some more – what it implies in real life…

(The picture was a good illustration to my first draft of today's blog, but as it turned out it has nothing to do with anything - except maybe for recognising our diversity. It was taken in Khao Lac, Thailand.)

After the tsunami(s)

I have never cried as much during an interview (me being the interviewer) as I did when interviewing a woman in Khao Lac, Thailand after the Tsunami. This was her story:

- We had a restaurant next to our house down on the beach. That morning, the morning of the tsunami, I had to go to the market to buy some ingredients. Both my kids wanted to come along with me, but I decided that only my daughter should come along. My boy, ten years old, cried and wanted to go with me, but I said NO. I lost my son, my husband and sister that morning. Being at the market when the tsunami hit, I run to higher ground in the forest. Many people where there and I started to look around for my family. In addition to my son and husband, I could not find my father. That night I dreamed about him - I could see his face, he was also dead.

- I cannot look back, I have to move on with my life. With the help of ADRA I have been able to start a little business again, and have a bit of earning. I can never get my family back, but I am incredibly grateful to ADRA for giving me a possibility to build up a life with those left in my family.

(One of the skills taught was batik. In the picture my father learns how to make batik too. He did well.)

Last week another tsunami struck. In Samoa ADRA is there to help the victims. Please see the video.

Tearing down the walls

When I went to TVS boarding school, we had groups called "sunshine groups". These groups had one mission: To share joy and encouragement. Once one of these groups sang in the local prison - but the choice of song wasn't the best. The second verse of the song starts with: "Oh, still there are walls between us, we can only reach each other through the bars..."

When I am to describe some of the best moments in life, it will be times when I connect with people, bond, and I feel safe. The personal walls around people may prevent that from happening; and I should know, because I have some invisible walls that very few get past.

I have reflected on what tears down the walls, and here is a list of some factors I think are important for me: Feeling loved and accepted, feeling protected, feeling genuine interest, not afraid that the other will get angry at me or disappointed in me.

How do I know for sure that the other person can and will be all of that when my walls are up? I have to give up protecting myself, and have the courage to be vulnerable. I am not sure I can be that brave - but I will continue to practise trust.

(photo credit: Frank Spangler)

The smell of confidence

I used to be scared of dogs. Walking door-to-door for ingathering of funds for ADRA used to be a nightmare, always afraid that there would be a dog attacking from behind a bush or as the door was opened.

Getting Mac changed all of that; that tiny little thing has helped me overcome my fear of dogs! And the dogs smell it! When I last visited Peru, I could walk freely among the "wild dogs" in the slums outside of Lima, and I knew that the dogs I met would do me nothing.

A friend of mine is not that fortunate: She is terrified whenever she meets a dog, and she is the one being attacked.

So today's blog is a "thank you" to our tea-cup (a very big tea-cup) dog Mac! Thanks for giving me confidence to meet the world!

Java Café and Gallery

My favorite café is in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The place has ambiance, and the food is just the way I want it; including chicken salad with extra chicken and vinegar. I have spent some really good time there with friends, both for breakfast and lunch.

Imagine a quiet morning in Phnom Penh. The Mekong River is stunningly beautiful in the mist. A few blocks away some sleepy foreigners get their morning coffee while others prefer a fresh orange juice. Even if the traffic picks up, at the table there is no rush. Ahhhh...

Also the tuk-tuk drive from the guest house to Java often turn out to be an experience. I guess my lack of Khmer skills - and the tuk-tuk drivers’ lack of English skills - may contribute to that. More than once I have  quietly prayed that I will end up at Java and not as dead meat in a back street.

I hope to get back to Java some day. For now being a "friend" with Java Café on facebook will have to do.

Looking for fun

I am Yellow! It took me a while to admit it. In fact I took the test several times, because I couldn’t believe it to be true. It was my wonderful Blue cousin who first told me about the Hartman Personality Profile and test  – and said it seems to be quite accurate in its assessment of personalities.

My cousin and I were enjoying a day at Glen Ivy Spa, California, when she told me how insightful and in fact useful the test and profile had been to her. She explained about four core motivations, referred to by colors in the Hartman test. It sounded very interesting so I decided that I would find out more about it later. But then I forgot about it. Until I got stuck in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, for a few days (I have forgotten why I was stuck there). My colleagues there had just bought the book “The People Code” by Dr. Hartman, and now I got a chance to read it. I read it twice! And I felt I learned a lot about myself – stuff I had tried to suppress. And I started to understand why communication with some people seems easy and others so difficult.

The worst thing for me to accept was that I am motivated by FUN. Well, I know that am embracing life, live in the present tense and love playful interaction. But I want to be motivated by peace or intimacy or responsibility – not fun. It sounds… irresponsible and shallow.

But I am starting to accept it and that in fact creates new energy. And I see more clearly both the positive and negative sides of it. To quote a bit from the report from the test: “While Yellows are carefree, they are sensitive and highly alert to other’s agendas to control them. Yellows typically carry within themselves the gift of a good heart …  Easily distracted, they can never sit still for long. Yellows are charismatic, spontaneous and positive, but can also be irresponsible, obnoxious and forgetful.”

From here, I definitely need to develop my character. But while doing that, I will also be looking for fun and enjoy life.

My photographer

Frank Spangler is a photographer – and he is a very good one. Most importantly, he shares ADRAs compassion for the oppressed and discriminated ones. The combination is a blessing to ADRA Norway.

Since 2005 we have had the privilege to bring Frank along on trips exposing him to the work we are involved in. The result is thousands of still photos and several videos, which we use in our development education programs in Norway, on our web site (http://www.adranorge.no/) and in fundraising.

We have visited Peru, Ethiopia, Thailand and Cambodia together. And Frank has also visited our projects in Yemen and Burma. Knowing that “a picture says more than a thousand words” we have a unique treasure of testimonies of people’s lives and what ADRA is doing - from the work of Frank. Some of the pictures can be seen on http://www.panopro.com/ or http://www.worldviewimages.com/ , and his blog can be read on http://www.untotheleast.com/ .

Thank you, Frank, for being a marvelous photographer and friend!

Overwhelmed

My home-office is a mess. I have been trying to tidy it for several hours today, and still it is so much left to sort out, organize, and throw away. I can feel this sneaky feeling of being overwhelmed...

I am so behind with work; there is an application deadline today, I need to prepare for some lectures at the High school, and for a seminar the week after, and this coming Sabbath I am responsible for the sermon in Skien SDA church. I feel overwhelmed...

And all this is so insignificant. Far more important is what is happening outside my safe little world: The news this week is devastating. Tsunami, storms and earthquakes! A boat sinking. People are dying and suffering. This really gives reason to feel overwhelmed....

And still, in the midst of this overwhelmed state – along with the sadness, I feel joy, knowing that I have been able to tidy up some of the mess, I have been able to do part of my work – and far more important, I know that I am a little part in a puzzle working with ADRA that makes it possible to bring comfort to some of the individuals that are suffering. As little as my contribution may be, I am so glad to be part of a group of people who gives opportunities for people to get out of misery.

Watch a film that gives me hope!

Tall and blond?

The picture is taken in Monterey in May of last year. Since then my daughter has grown, and is now about my height. One day both of us were standing in front of the mirror, and I commented:

- I think we are the same height ... or maybe even a bit taller.

Mac

Two years ago we didn't have a dog. And we were not planning for one either.

In January 2008, my son Filip and I were having our mother/son trip. I had asked him: Would you prefer to go to Peru, Kenya or Cambodia? He answered: I wouldn't mind California. So, California, it was!

Our friends took us to Newport Beach and we had a wonderful day there at the coast. Before going back to their home for the afternoon, they insisted that we should also visit the pet shop at Fashion Island (Newport Beach). That afternoon Filip and I fell in love with the sweetest puppy ever. Luckily, we had never read any books about buying a dog, so we didn't know that we should be careful with buying a dog in a pet shop and we should make sure it was not sick. So the day after we drove back to Fashion Island and bought a sick dog in a pet shop. It wasn't even a pure breed, but a Morkie!

OK, there were some obstacles to getting it from California to Norway. I still feel guilty for leaving the puppy with our good friends from February till end of March. And then of course it was some extra work with actually moving to the US and having the kids in school there, finding a place to stay and all the rest of it. In July I could finally bring Mac with me to Norway.

It wasn't always easy, but it was worth it: We think we have the best dog in the world. Mac comforts us and always looks at us with trust and expectation. He gives us energy. We all love him dearly.

(Tonight he has eaten cat shit and has gotten diarrhea, and in the picture he has just eaten a gecko, but who cares?)

At a crossroads

Whether I interpret Frost's poem "The road not taken" ironically or literally, it is an interesting comment to choices and life direction (see poem below). I don't want to be a person who always says: I should rather have done this or that; I should have taken another road. Instead I want to look forward, knowing that I am not walking alone. And even if it may not be possible to go back, it is possible to change direction, when needed.

The road not taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(Robert Frost, 1916)

Seeing the world

Sometimes I see the world through a lens and it creates a distance to people. (That's partly why it is so nice to travel with a photographer - so I don't have to take pictures and video myself.) Other times, looking through that lens actually brings me closer to others. If people are comfortable with it, then it gives me an opportunity of looking really closely at people, and it even creates some bonding with the person in the photo.

I know it may sound a bit pretentious, but my desire is to see the world through the same lens as God is seeing people. I wonder what the world would really look like if I was able to do that. I sense it would change both how I see others, but also how I see myself.

God-daughter

It was May 2005, and I was visiting Cuzco. As part of a tour, we went to a spring. I was told that if I drank the water, I would stay young forever. Well, that was worth trying, so I drank some of the water. Some people looked shocked; as they were sure I would get sick from the water. But a couple of the guides started to laugh, and told me another detail to the story of the old spring: Due to my age, I would get twins within two years if I drank the water.

One year later, on my next trip to Peru, I was asked to be the God-mother of two tiny small Shipibo Indian twins. They were so beautiful - both of them. I wondered if I would ever see them again.

Four months later I met them again, in the same village in the Amazon jungle. They had grown so much! But unfortunately they both were sick with some kind of infection. It took two years till I again visited the area, and only then I learned that one of my dear little twins had died from that infection.

But I had one girl left, and she sat on my lap for hours! Although she was shy, she was very aware of who I was. And when I visited this April, she knew perfectly well who I am. We had a really good time together.

In my experience, embracing some extra people into the family sphere is enriching life. Nobody needs to be lonely in this world if we all include a few extra kids, aunts, grandparents... and whether we bond with someone in Peru, US, Ethiopia, Bangladesh or Norway doesn't matter. But the bonding matters!

I have visited my girl in Peru four times now. Each time I leave, it's like leaving a little piece of my heart there. At the same time, it also feels like the heart is growing. So, cheers to bonding and life - with Inca Kola!

Snorkelling

My favourite places in the world when it comes to snorkelling are East Coast of Zanzibar, North-East coast of Sulawesi (Indonesia), Koh Phangan and Krabi (Thailand) and Bonaire (Caribbean).

Chubby cheeks

”How do baby chickens dance?”
“Chick to Chick, naturally.”

Ok, it’s not very funny, but I found it in my English students’ textbook. And it is sweet, though.

Today I include a picture of me getting a hug from a little girl in Lima, Peru. Her mother is a prostitute, and left her with a poor woman when she was just a baby. It was amazing to see how her foster-mother cares for her. Being poor and with a husband that has abandoned her and her own kids, she still take very good care of that little girl.

The thing is, I can still feel the hug; Her tiny arms around my neck. Her eyes filled with skepticism and trust at the same time.

There are also other hugs I can still feel; some from family and some from friends. Some from almost strangers. For some reasons there are some hugs that will follow me forever. It’s like it was yesterday.

I guess my chubby cheeks are made for hugging.

Why Reflect?

“Reflect is an innovative approach to adult learning and social change, which fuses the theories of Paulo Freire with the methodologies of participatory rural appraisal. Originally developed in pilot projects in Bangladesh, El Salvador and Uganda between 1993-95, Reflect is now used by over 500 organizations in around 70 countries worldwide.” For more information see http://www.reflect-action.org/

In 1996 I was studying in Bristol, England, for a Master in education and development. One of my teachers recognized that I was very interested in Non-Formal Education, and told me about this very innovative approach to literacy being launched in March that year. I was lucky enough to be in London when ActionAid introduced the Reflect approach to literacy. Years later I started working with ADRA and we are using this very participatory and innovative approach in projects in both Sudan and Cambodia. Women (and sometimes also men and children) meet in groups - and not only learn how to read and write, but get a chance to analyze their own environment, and pressing issues in the community. This may include all kinds of issues from health, up-bringing of children, domestic violence, human trafficking, refugee specific issues, access to income, environment etc etc.

Because the approach has such potential, I continue to be drawn to it. Meeting women who claim that their lives have been substantially transformed, moves me.

And I just like the word: Reflect. I want to continue to reflect on life in order to learn more and hopefully become wiser. That’s why I chose the name Reflect for the blog.

Once in a lifetime

Those who have spent some time with me are aware that I am easily overwhelmed by noise and light. When it is my turn to choose music to listen to in the car, I usually choose silence. Obviously Tivoli in Copenhagen is not my favorite place to enjoy life. Knowing this, I would assume that Chuck E. Cheese's would be the worst place on earth for me to spend an afternoon.

Surprise, surprise: I actually enjoyed it. It was so noisy that I could hardly hear my own thoughts. The various game machines were flashing and blinking. And still I had a good time with the kids, husband, friends, friends' kids etc. Even though I felt totally out of place, I was able to just be a kid and play as one.

I also love the pictures we took in the photo booth!

All that said, I still think a friend of mine was right when he commented on his visit with his kids to the place: "It's a once in a lifetime experience. You visit once, and then you never do it again!"

The importance of names

I am not particularly good with names. Or faces. The combination is disastrous, as I appear to be arrogant and indifferent, when in fact I just don't recall having met someone before. To compensate for this, I take no chances and smile to people who look the slightest familiar. Sometimes I realize that it was a comedian from TV or a well known politician that I have smiled to and greeted with great conviction. I am always impressed by people who seem to remember my name; I feel seen and valued. So when I started as a teacher a month ago, I took some effort in remembering everybody’s name. And what I found is that not only do I remember each person's name, but I feel closer and relate better. I genuinely like my students and care for them.

I also care for the two girls that Frank Spangler (photographer) and I made a documentary about three years ago. Far west in Cambodia, four hours on a bumpy road outside of Pursat, we had learned to know about the lives of two wonderful young girls, named Mean and San. After we made the documentary I told about the two girls in churches and schools in Norway. Mean and San became known to a lot of people.

Two years later Frank and I again visited the girls to make a follow up on the lives of the girls and their families. I know I can never assume what a culture is like, but I must admit I was a bit puzzled when we reached the village and asked for Mean and San, and people looked at us like they didn't understand who we were talking about. However, we directed the driver to one of the girls houses. The house was no longer there - the family had moved. And then we went to San's house. She was there! We greeted San, and she looked at us, a bit strange. To make a longer story shorter, it turned out that we had been using her last/family name as her first name, and now addressed her with her family name. The reason being that when we had asked her mother to write down her name two years earlier, she had written it as normal in Cambodia - the family name first.

Both Mean and San forgave us, and we still use their family names, but if I ever visit them again I will make an effort to learn their first names - because I think name matters.

Reflections

I am known to talk before I think. It is not a good thing, and I tell myself again and again never to do it. One way of compensating for it may be to use a blog where I at least have to think before I publish. I will give it a try...